Gray writes that men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in relationships, and if the balance shifts, with one person feeling they have given more than they have received, resentment can develop; that is a time when communication is very important in helping to bring the relationship back into balance. He further states that men and women view giving and receiving love differently, as regards the “tallying” of individual acts of love. According to Gray, women and men are often surprised to find that their partners “keep score” at all, or that their scoring methods are different.[citation needed]He says women use a points system that few men are aware of, where each individual act of love gets one point, regardless of magnitude; men, on the other hand, assign small acts fewer points, with larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points, etc.) going to what they think are big ones. To a woman, the emotional stroke delivered by sincere attention is as important as the value of the act. That can lead to conflict, when the man thinks his work has earned him, say, 20 points and deserves corresponding recognition, while the woman has assigned him only 1 point and recognizes him accordingly. The man tends to think he can do one Big Thing for her (scoring 50 points) and not do much else, assuming the woman will be satisfied with that, and she will give him kudos. Instead, the woman would rather have many little things done for her on a regular basis, because women like to think their men are thinking of them and care for them more constantly. That approach adds up to the strokes men are looking for.Another major idea put forth in Gray’s book regards the difference in the way the genders react to stress. Gray states that when men’s tolerance to stressful situations is exceeded, they withdraw temporarily, “retreating into their cave”, so to speak. Often, they literally retreat: for example, to the garage, or to go spend time with friends. In their “caves”,…