The use of personal experience as the foundation for the argument is prevalent in both Edelman’s and Bartels’ works. They lack outside references and often focus too much on their side of the argument; this causes the reader to feel that the claim is not credible. Edelman writes, “When John became so scarce around our house, I had to compensate by being utterly present in every way: as a kisser of boo-boos; a dispenser of discipline; an assembler of child furniture; a scary monster slayer, mortgage financer, reseeder of dying backyards… Balancing act? I was the whole damn circus, all three rings. (431)” Here, Edelman goes into what feels like an all out attack on her husbands lack of presence in the household. This demonstrates both her use of personal anecdotes and one-sidednes. She ineffectively use this story because she fails to acknowledge her husbands side of things. What if he has to be away so much because his wife wanted children and can no longer work to provide extra income? At this point, a reader, especially a male one, might lose interest in Edelman’s claim.
Critique Paper Outline
THESIS: The use of emotional appeals can allow the writer to connect with the reader, but Bartel overuses the pathos approach, making his essay My Problem with Her Anger weak in the logos and ethos areas.
I. Introduction
TRANSITION: Use of emotional appeals does have its benefits.
II. Pathos gives the reader a connection between their lives and the essay.
“An appeal to pathos causes an audience not just to respond emotionally but to identify with the writer’s point of view–to feel what the writer feels (Durham)”
This quote summarizes how appeals help the audience to relate to what the writer is saying.
“Anyone who’s ever watched a young child’s face crumple in fear and bewilderment as parents unleash their anger, in any direction, know instantly what the stakes are (Bartels 441).”
This quote shows Bartel’s effective appeal to emotion by encouraging the…