Roman Almanza
Ms. M. Garcia
Composition ENGL 1301
October 30, 2013
Render Yourself
Being told that in order to be taken seriously I’d have to change my posture and body language initially drove me to embark on what many people would consider a “window of opportunity”. Talking to a stranger is difficult enough let alone asking them how I can improve myself without having the least bit of knowledge of me. I knowingly put my identity, fears, and trust in the hands of a stranger allowing me to muster every ounce of vulnerability. Communication whether it’s physical or verbal is vital; paired with vulnerability and the willingness to commit to change, I could improve my social skills.
In order to open up I had to blur the line between vulnerability and rejection. Prior to asking people for their perception of me I evaluated myself: what do I think of myself? I knew from an early age I was comfortable, if not preferred, my own presence over that of someone else’s. I was a true believer in “You can’t trust anyone”. Over the years I found myself in need of others more often, so I built connections—true relationships that were genuine in every aspect. Slowly those bridges burned and I found myself relining on myself.
Naturally, I crumbled the walls I had once erected before me; I considered as a “chance for improvement”, if you will. From the ground up, I reinvented myself; I insistently held in my conscience “you can’t afford to screw this up” and the ever so classic “give it your all”. I pounced on the chance for change like a wild animal will upon the deliverance of its ‘coup de gras’ on its once elusive prey.
Whenever I was given the chance to redeem myself as a friendly and caring person, I would let down my guard and converse with whomever it was who took the initiative in giving me said chance. When I approached Rosie, a small, frail girl who sat behind me in Psychology, about how I could better others my perception of myself she immediately…